Eat up these links while they're still fresh, people.

Perhaps the greatest invention of all time – the Shot-Gun. It's a tasty device that fires a round of booze into your mouth. Yay! –Geekologie

More proof that crack is awesome. –FloriDuh

Thanks to Blowguard, blowjobs are once again safe. –Asylum

NSFW: It can mean so many things these days. –Urlesque

Move over Slumdog Millionaire and make way for the Rat-Killing King of Bangladesh. –Weird Asia News

A romance novel only Rain Man could love. Prepare yourself for autistic erotica. –Holy Taco

You've all seen the ad on TV a million times for the Snuggies blanket. And most likely, you pleaded with your TV many times to "Please, make it stop!"

Unfortunately, this ad won't go away. Probably because old, senile people across America are buying them up at lightning speed.

Because really, who else would be so stupid to buy this blanket, which is simply a robe turned backwards?

Note: If you're smiling sheepishly and raising your hand, admitting that "yes", you did buy a Snuggies, then please proceed to the highest, nearby window and hurl yourself out of it. Evolution has failed you.

And for those of you who didn't buy a Snuggies, go inside and watch this video parody. It's probably the funniest thing we've seen in a long time.

What's a man to do after spending the last eight years running the world's only superpower into the ground?

There really aren't too many options, especially with the economy in the toilet. The way we figure it, brush clearing is Dubya's only real option.

Hell, it's about only thing that man ever did well.

We imagine signs like these will be popping up around his new, Dallas neighborhood soon.

Because honestly, it can't be too long before Laura gets sick of George lying around the house with a tall boy in his hand, half-drunk and yammering about his legacy.

Here's some links to get you through the day. Click at your own risk.

Oh the horror...What Madonna might look like at age 70. –Gallery of the Absurd

Yep, that Christ was one, cool cat. –boing boing

Female teachers in England lure young boys to bed too, except they are way less attractive. –The Sun

Looking for a new career, try being a centerpiece. –Urlesque

ScarJo gets all deep and philosophical and asks the questions, "Why do men have nips?" –Dlisted

The highlight of your dog's day – finding a place to shit. –The Onion

What's better than a celebrity losing it on set? Putting it to music, of course.

Christian Bale, aka The Dark Knight, managed to reel off the "F" word about a million times when cussing out a Director of Photography on the set of a movie. And nothing goes better with the "F" word, than a driving, techno beat on a dance track.

Yep, this could go down as one of his all-time best performances. The remix of this star's deranged, taped rant is just that good.

Go inside and give this new Christian Bale remix a listen. We think it it's hot and we predict it might be the next big, club anthem.

Enjoy!

Joe Francis, the producer of Girls Gone Wild, is back in jail in Los Angeles after showing up five hours late to his court hearing yesterday. He blamed it on the flu and officers consoled him by slapping cuffs on him. Ha!

This is really starting to become a habit for the young porn producer. We're starting to think he likes his time in jail.

So we created this Top Ten List of Porn Titles to describe Joe's experiences behind bars with men doing, ahem, hard time.

Here they are:
1. Joe vs. The Cock Volcano

Let's face it, during the biggest football game of the year, when people are guzzling beer, inhaling hot dogs and yelling obscenities at their TV screen – comedy is about the only thing that cuts through the clutter.

So advertisers, please save your sappy or serious shit for some other time of year or maybe a different sport...perhaps, golf.

Because as usual, it's the funny ads that win the day.

Go inside and check out videos of the top three spots, plus our pick for the absolute worst spot.

The spot that ranks third best this year is for everybody's favorite snack, Doritos. We don't know how those tasty chips are made (nor do we want to), but this ad sure is funny.

3. New Flavor Pitch, Doritos

Here's some mega-strength links to get you going this Monday.

10 ways to make your stormtrooper costume even sexier. –Geekologie

Quite possibly the scariest website ever created, Pets In Uniforms. –Urlesque

Implants only an audiophile could love. –boingboing

To train them properly, it's essential to start them young. Even if it's stripping. –BuzzFeed

Yes people, it's ugly when fast food plays favorites. –The Onion

Worst business idea ever – A golf club that you can pee into. –Random Good Stuff

Your favorite high-fivers are back and they've taken their act to D.C., where they are celebrating the Inauguration the only way they know how – high-fiving their way through the crowds and slapping hands with some familiar faces.

In this video, there are cameos by Jack Black, Arianna Huffington, Sarah Silverman and Larry King. Even hardcore conservatives like Joe Scarborough and Newt Gingrich get in on the action.

How's that for bringing the parties together? High-fiving is truly something both Republican and Democrat can enjoy.

So go inside and celebrate with some high-five action, courtesy of Funny or Die.

And for more funny videos, head over to our video section. It's updated daily.

Mmm, there's so much tasty stuff on the net today! Here are your links, people.

Damn! What did hardcore air guitarists do before this? Finally, replacement air guitar strings. –Geekologie

Hey, even Adolf Hitler needs the love and support of his family! –The Sun

Daft for Daft Punk tributes? Well, here you go. –Urlesque

Meet the Indonesian Obama look-a-like, Ilham Anas. –Weird Asia News

Ever wondered what that asshole in the BMW behind you, honking like a madman, was thinking? –Holy Taco

The View gets an unexpected view of Sigourney Weaver's panties. –BuzzFeed

Let's face it, the majority of men spend countless hours looking for porn on the net. We estimate that 6 out of 10 men are actually addicted to internet porn.

And although those numbers are startling, we need to remind people that there are far worse ways to be spending your time surfing the web.

For example, if you are a regular visitor to the website Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers, you may have a far more disturbing problem.

And if this is compounded by the fact that you travel regularly to Branson, Missouri to see Kenny perform live, or that you drive by his house 20 times a day, then you should probably seek professional help immediately.

Crack a cold one and check out what's happening. Here are your links, people.

One pump wonders watch out. Here's a cock ring that counts. –BWE

Even Obama's kids know Dubya is an idiot. See the best inauguration picture yet. –C&D

Some limos are built for style, but this one is built for speed. –Damn Cool Pics

Soderbergh film will be nothing short of "porntastic". –Defamer

Verne Troyer gives the tongue to someone his own size. –Dlisted

A man's got to keep his ho in line, especially if she don't want to go to church. –FloriDuh

We're praying that this is all one, horrific, bad joke that's gone too far. Because nothing can explain the latest Joaquin Phoenix incident.

It all began weeks ago, when Joaquin told the world he was quitting acting. Then he grew his beard out, started drinking heavily and announced he would be pursuing a music career.

Based on his appearance, we guessed he was hoping to join ZZ Top. But alas, we were wrong – dead wrong.

No, people, Joaquin hopes to become a rapper. Yes, a rapper.

Go inside and watch videos of Joaquin's latest rap, recorded in Vegas. It's truly scary and the reason that Joaquin is our Daily Douche.

It's time to go to the dark side, and by that, we mean The Springer Show.

In today's video from the guys over at College Humor, Star Wars gets the Springer treatment.

Because really, is there any family that's more dysfunctional than Darth Vader and his two rebellious offspring, Luke and Leia?

On this episode, Luke is told that his real father is Vader and we find out that Princess Leia is no princess. She's really just your ordinary, intergalactic, teen slut.

Go inside and watch the video, especially if you're a Star Wars fan. It be funny.

And for more vids, head over to our video section. It's updated daily.

Cha-cha-cha-cha Chia!

Hope springs eternal and so does a Chia pet fro, if watered and maintained properly.

Yes, some Presidents are immortalized on coins, statues or even monuments. Obama, well, he's been cast in, how do we say this, hmmm, less "Presidential" forms. This Chia pet follows a string of items ranging from bobbleheads, wax statues, to Pez dispensers.

The Chia pet is by far the worst though, probably because it looks more like an elderly Jewish man than our new President. And the Chia fro, well, that's just got to go.

If you want to see other Obama items that look nothing like the man, go inside and check out our gallery of shame. It's truly awesome, in a bad way.